Better things will come

I keep meaning to come and post here but I've just been so busy. I promise I'll try and keep up more!

I don't have a lot to blog about but I did just want to say I hope you're all keeping strong. Heads up, better things will come.

Suicide Awareness Day 10/09/12

As you may have heard, today, September 10th, is Suicide Awareness Day. Today is a day for anyone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts to know that options are available so that suicide is not considered the only way out. Not only this, but it's a day to appreciate and admire the inspirational people who have thought the urges to take their own life, and yet still remain with us today. It's also a day to remember those who, unfortunately, didn't make it. According to Wikipedia , around one million people die per year by suicide. That's an incredibly high number of deaths which could have been avoided, and so today is not only to raise awareness for the signs and potential options for those still suffering, but to remember the people who once suffered, and took their own lives as a result of that.

Rather than bombarding you with the facts and figures of suicide, I wanted to take the time to tell you that you have the choice not to take that route. Something I find helpful to consider is that you've been given the chance of life for a reason. I'm not a believer of religion and neither do I believe that each individual was put here to pursue some huge thing to make their life worthwhile. I don't believe that there's one reason that people are alive, or anything to give you the hope of a better future that you were always meant to lead. Instead, I believe that you exist as the result of chance. You are the person you are because genetically, you were made this way. The way you lead this life, though, is up to you. Every decision you make is a result of choice, and every choice you make has a consequence. You can either choose to live an extraordinary life, by fighting the things that attempt to knock you back, or you can choose to give up the huge potential you have as a human being. I urge you not to choose the latter.

 The above is a picture I saw on tumblr, and ever since seeing it I've been using it's advice wherever possible. It's actually a really good point. Any of you who are, or have struggled with suicidal thoughts will know that the struggle that comes with it is difficult. Thoughts are hard to deal with and it's okay that you're not okay. It really is. But I want you to think back to this. Breathe. Take a deep breath in for four, and then out for four. Focus on that, because it's a necessary part of life; it's not optional. Anything else you do thereafter, is. Those thoughts you're struggling with? They're thoughts, not actions waiting to happen. They're ideas, and not all ideas are formed into reality - some are better off forgotten. If you're struggling, remember that you're in control. Suicide may seem like the best way out, but it's not. There is always, always another way, a better way, a way to live and be content with life. I promise you, no matter how bad things get, suicide is never the answer.

Today, I wore yellow in honour of suicide awareness day. I wrote 'love' on my arm to remember someone who suicide claimed the life of. I did these things to show that I care, and that if you need someone, I'm here, always and regardless of circumstance. I did it because suicide is a worthy cause to raise awareness for. I didn't do it thinking it would eliminate the problem completely, but rather to show that it isn't the only way forward and that there are people out there who, while they may not understand what you're going through, they're willing to offer you alternatives, so that you can live your life to it's fullest potential. Suicide is never the answer, please seek help is suicidal thoughts are something you experience. Contact people who can assist you and help you deal with it, but please, never act on it.

Stay safe. <3

Learn to value the gifts you take for granted

Hey there. So, it's been a while, but I'm back! 

It's that time of the year again. September has officially begun and the preparation for the new school year is in full swing. For a lot of you, I don't doubt how much you're not looking forward to that day, the one where you start back at school. For many, the start of the school year isn't the most stressful time of year, however compared to your lovely late morning starts followed by coffee and minimal activity, it's certainly a shock to the system! Not only this, but I'm sure you know well enough that it only gets worse. The stress will be beginning soon. Deadlines are going to be set, no doubt there will be drama going on among your friends, teachers will be on your backs, and before you know it, exam season will be right around the corner again. 

Well, I'm here to tell you not to worry too much. School isn't everyone's idea of fun, however it is, as with everything, what you make of it, so why not make it good? Use this time to get yourself a new attitude for the start of the year. Get yourself some clothes to wear, or, if you have a uniform, some new accessories within your school rules to keep you feeling good and refreshed. Do your hair nicely (don't go overboard, you'll look lovely without!), put on your best smile. If you feel good, you'll have a better day!

Try to keep on top of your work. If you get set a lot of work, schedule it out tactically by doing the hardest/most important/due earliest work first, and leave the rest until later. Don't leave it all until the last minute and stress yourself out, because let's face it, you don't need any more stress than is headed your way, right? 

Try to keep an open mind. If things are hard, keep trying and don't be afraid to ask for help. The new school year means new material, and since you've still got your summer brain in, it'll be hard, but there's no reason to give up on all hopes of ever getting there. Try and enjoy the work, do your research, get into it. If you enjoy something, there's more of a chance you'll do the extra work required, so try your best to make the most out of everything. After all, learning is a gift, and you should treasure it. Knowledge is a good thing, despite it perhaps being a bit boring sometimes.

The most important thing, though, is to keep that lovely smile plastered right across your face. It's okay to not be looking forward to school, but if you try to look at the positives, you'll find it's a lot more welcome than if you shut them out and focus on the bad points! Your friends will be dying to see you and tell you all about their holidays, and I'm sure you'll feel the same way back! It's not all bad, and you really can make the most of it. Remember to keep a positive mind because you've been given the gift of education and you should value that, just as it values you.

Good luck, whether you're staying at your current school, moving on to another one, or starting a whole new stage of education. You can do it, and you can have fun too!

Branching out a bit.

Hey there beautiful readers. I wouldn't normally come here to advertise anything, but for those of you interested in positivity and the likes, it'd be awesome if you fancied checking out a new tumblr that's been set up. Basically, a couple of friends and I set this up to inspire people to continue working at life when it's tough. We'll be posting positive images, quote, messages etc. and there's an ask box for any of you struggling a bit. We're happy to offer some advice to keep you going, whether it be about something small, or something a bit more serious. 

Basically, us who have set it up are passionate about YOU. We want to keep encouraging you to fight the hardships of life and we're just branching out our options for how. I hope to be posting here a bit more as well because I like to offer as much support as I can. Below is a link to the tumblr blog, so feel free to check it out and ask us if you're struggling and need any support. Honestly, we'd love to help!

http://positivityworks.tumblr.com/

Stay strong, guys. It honestly gets better and there's no reason why you can't do this. <3

Even the ordinary can be extraordinary

I haven't been around here for quite a while, and I'm really sorry for that. I wrote a little something though, so I thought I'd share it. Keep smiling. =]

Let’s be honest here for one second. No matter how ordinary and simple something is, it’s there for a reason. Every object in your house was created for a purpose. It took design upon design to get it right. Your personal needs were considered during this process, the ergonomics planned to detail to make it easy for you to use. They must have been, or else your days wouldn’t be spent sitting on a chair, or opening the fridge, or going for a walk in your new trainers. You wouldn’t be able to write that essay you’ve been putting off, or watch television, or take the photography you do with your camera. Down to the finest detail, everything you own and take for granted has been deigned and planned, scrapped, and designed and planned again before ending up in the shop in which it was bought. Do you know what the sad part is? All we see these objects as, is simply an object. There’s no harm in that, mind you, but sometimes it’s nice to appreciate the beauty behind it and how much thought went into making lives easier.

Move on from there now. It’s one thing to have things planned to fit your needs, but think outside the box a bit. There are things outside your window that nobody ever planned for. The tree outside, with the leaves greener than any green – the tree outside with the leaves duller than any green! The grass that’s just gently swaying in the slight wind, and the sky, perhaps dotted with clouds that hide the sunlight. Nobody designed any of that, but if you take a moment or two out of your day to admire it, you start to notice that the world you live in is shaped to meet your needs. The process it takes to breathe the oxygen you’re breathing was accidental and happened by chance, and yet here you are, living day after day, surviving on that oxygen. Take a breath. Can you feel it? It’s not just nature, it’s magic, and it’s keeping you alive. Isn’t that beautiful?

Personally, I find that if you think about what you do every day and how you’ve come to be there, at that specific moment, and what it is that has allowed you to live to perform your daily actions, you find more hope in life. Doing this won’t change your life. It wont cure illness or stop you hurting, but it helps you find a reason to fight those unfortunate encounters off. If you look close enough, it can help you find things to enjoy when life isn’t too enjoyable. Believe it or not, you’re here for a reason too. You are a miracle, because the odds it takes to create the exact person you are, are incredible. If even one thing had changed, down to the smallest tiniest detail, if one tiny little part of your DNA wasn’t what it is right now, you’d be a totally new individual. You wouldn’t have met the people you’ve met, fallen in love with the people you’ve fallen in love with, or been the person you’ve been or are. Noticing that can be the difference between hating who you are, and learning to accept that you’re extraordinary.

It’s a long process. I’m not saying that doing what I’ve said here will change how you feel about the world over night. In all honesty, the likeliness of anything doing that are close to zero, but it’s worth trying. You’re worth fighting for. The road to recovery, self acceptance, even happiness, is a long one. It’s full of bumps and ditches and dark nights. It’s full of nightmares and screams and crying and pain. Nobody said life would be easy. That was never a guarantee and it never will be. What I’m trying to say is that there’s always something to fight for. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel and not everything is as bad as it seems. Sometimes it’s hard to see that, and the negatives in life seem to darken out the positives, but they’re just as important too. It’s crucial to take note of them so that life doesn’t seem so hopeless. It’s worth the fight, and it’s worth the pain to simply be happy again sometime later.

So don’t give up. The fight is worth it, and you’re not alone. You can do this. Remember to look for beauty in the ordinary, even if the ordinary is you. I promise you, if you open your eyes wide enough, you’ll find that you’re beautiful too. 

You've just got to keep stretching!

Exams are over, my lovelies, which means I'm back. First of all, I hope any of you who had exams put in your  all. No matter what the result is when it comes out, I hope you can be proud of that fact you gave it your best attempt. Even if it's not as great as your friends, if you tried, it's an achievement. Good luck. Let me know how you think it went if you like.

Picture of the day! It's right, you know. Tomorrow is a whole, brand new day. Nothing has happened yet which isn't a part of today. It doesn't matter where you are in the world, whether your day has just started or if it's coming to an end, tomorrow holds a whole new set of chances, opportunities and successes and they're all within your reach. If you've had a bad day today, don't be put off by it. Sometimes life can surprise you and throw you a rainbow in among all that heavy rain and thunder. And you know how beautiful rainbows are, right? It's a day in which no grudges need to be held and you don't need to dwell on anything. Let go of yesterday and today, let loose, have a good day. Never stop believing tomorrow can be amazing.

If tomorrow just so happens to be slightly grey and the clouds are hanging a bit too low and heavy for your liking, don't worry! After that is another tomorrow, a whole new chance to start again, a whole new day with the chance to be fantastic. Never lose hope. It's always there, just keep reaching for it. If it's just too slightly far away, remember that every new day of stretching to reach it will bring you closer.

Stay strong, keep smiling. <3

Good luck.

This is just a quick post to inform you that blogs may be limited for the next week or so! I have exams starting on Tuesday so I have a lot of revision and stress ahead of me.

For all you lovely people out there who are in a similar situation to me - good luck with your exams! Do your best, it's all anyone can ask of you. If it gets tough, remind yourself that you're strong and you can do it. I believe in you, so believe in yourself. You really can do this.

Until next time!

I am what I live to be.

I'm in the process of writing a story. It's actually something I've only just begun writing, but for once I'm really quite proud of how it's turning out. There are parts of it so relevant to the way I see things and it's nice to be able to write from my own perspective. Somehow what I create seems more natural and fluent. So, I thought I'd share one paragraph of it with you. I identify with this because I've been writing for a long time. Granted, I'd in no way say I'm the best. But I believe I have some extent of skill when it comes to my way with words. Some days are better than others, but this paragraph turned out well. I hope you enjoy it.

"Don’t let me convince you not to do what you’re doing, though. I write because I am a writer. I find pleasure in creating alternate realities and watching creations of my own fall in love, and in some cases, be heart broken. My place on this planet is to do what I do. If you are a singer, by all means, sing and if you are a doctor, then I see no problem in allowing you to heal. I am not here to judge your ambitions, I’m simply explaining how I see reality and how it compares to the fiction I create. See, there is a direct correspondence between my existence and what I make exist. Conversations I am in quickly become the basis for a brand new masterpiece. People I meet are efficiently morphed into similar and yet unreal characters, destined to become a part of myself in ways they could never imagine. And so I live as a writer. I see it not as a job, but as a definition of myself. I am what I live to be, and so, I am a writer."

The reason I wanted to share this particular part of my writing with you, is that I truly believe that everyone has a reason to be on this planet. Some people find seeing that reason a lot harder than others, but I completely believe there is one. I feel that it doesn't matter what the reason is as long as you're happy, healthy and safe. And so I wrote this, from the perspective of an elderly woman who has dedicated her life to developing her skill at the thing she loves the most - writing. 

And so I have a proposal. A suggestion if you like. You do what you're good at. If not, do what you love. Develop your talents into something practical and pursue your dreams. It is possible. If you live something, be something.

And take care. <3  

There's beauty in the strangest of places.

"Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."

I don't know about you, but I know that sometimes I have days where I just don't feel happy. You know the kind where everything imaginable that could go wrong, does go wrong? I think it's something we all get occasionally, and it's unfortunate. To be honest, it can really get you down. In a way, when this happens to me, I begin to expect everything else to go wrong that day as well, even if the possibility of it going well is high. The pessimism isn't fun to live with and I feel, personally, that an optimistic outlook on life can be a really great way to keep yourself positive even in days where things seem to be going terribly!

The quote above is something I was once told, and since then its something I make an effort to remember. I don't like feeling gloomy, especially when there are people around me who want me to be happy. I don't think pretending to smile is a great way to please them, so I make an effort to find things in my surroundings that bring a little bit of a glow to the day when darkness seems to be the main theme. Now, I understand fully how hard this might be, especially to begin with. But honestly, it's not that difficult once you think outside the box a bit. I mean, look around you now. Where are you sat? Your bedroom? The living room? Who's around you? Are you grateful for them? Let yourself be reminded of how lucky you are to have them. Not everyone does! Are you on your own? Is it a good thing that you have the space to be with yourself? Sometimes quality time with oneself is long needed! What's beside you? Your favourite book perhaps? Does it make you happy to read and get lost in your imagination and the land of words and mental images of placed you can only but dream of? Take a look in the mirror. How does your hair look today? I bet it looks fantastic. Admire it for a second. Remind yourself that you look good today. Now look out of your window. How's the weather looking today? Is the sun out? Is it cloudy? How do the colours of the leaves make you feel?

You'd be surprised at how much just simply looking can open your eyes to the wonders of the world. Things we take for granted and see every day can be the making of a new turn for our mood. It seems like such a stupid thing to spend your time doing, just watching, but not only can it let you see beauty in what we consider usual, but it can be so relaxing. Let yourself unwind for a bit. Cheer yourself up. Look for beauty in what we take advantage of. You live in this world, after all, so let it make you happy. There's beauty in the strangest of places.

Take a couple of minutes to feel good - you deserve it!

My best friend has given me the idea of today's blog. I discovered this a while back, and more recently I discovered something similar. If anyone has ever heard of 'the quiet place project' and 'the thought room', you'll understand why this blog may be particularly helpful. See, we all get days where we go into overload. We're human, not machines that are programmed to do this task, that task and every other task. Fact is, we can only do so much. We can only deal with so much. We need a break sometimes; not just some of us, but all of us, regardless of what you have going on. It never hurts to take a couple of minutes out of your day to just relax and let yourself be calm and quiet. In fact, in doing so you could bring your stress levels down significant amounts, and what better than to feel refreshed after a long day of hard work and multitasking?

http://thequietplaceproject.com/thequietplace

This first link is designed to let you forget the stresses of giving your attention to anything but yourself and relaxation. If you're stressed out and need a moment of peace, due to anything at all, take a couple of minutes out of your day to look here. Honestly, that's all it is. A couple of minutes. Everything can wait. Two minutes wont fail your exams or blow your house up. You can go back to daily life after this, but for the next two minutes, just relax. Take a break. Enjoy being free.

http://thequietplaceproject.com/thethoughtsroom/?page=thethoughtsroom&lang=

This, I believe, is an extension from the former link. This is just as worth checking out, though, and honestly this place helped me to express anger and frustration towards anything. It's not going to be seen by anyone, but your thoughts can just be let loose. I think, sometimes, we all need to express ourselves, but quite often we don't have the words or people to express ourselves with or to. That's the wonder of this place. You won't get a response or suggestions, but you can let loose. Forget grammar, spelling, or even manners. Be you. This is a thoughts room, so let yourself think.

The wonderful thing is about these two links, you really will feel sort of lighter afterwards. It's like everything that's been weighing you down both mentally, emotionally and physically are just..released. And it feels good. I mean, really good. And we all need that. To smile is better than to frown, so give it a go. Let yourself smile and feel good. You deserve it.

YOU are an achievement

There's so much these days that demands people to fit a certain kind of 'ideal' and to be a person who they may not necessarily be. Think about the media and how it influences young girls to feel they have to be a thin, beautiful woman when they grow up. They feel they have to look certain ways and so many people are left feeling bad about the person they are born as and actually are. Take for instance a certain characteristic or preference. You like movies, I've never heard of half of the ones you mention. You like brussell sprouts and I think they're a vegetable from hell. That kind of thing. I know it seems trivial, so let's take it up a notch.

You're someone who's not necessarily academic. You'd rather paint, or do something creative than so a science. Perhaps you're not in to that either. Perhaps you're not the best person in school. Maybe you didn't get the grades needed to go on to college or sixth form. Perhaps your best friend did. Maybe this friend of yours has gone on to take maths and science at A level, or in university, and you didn't. Imagine you watch this friend excel in what they do while you're still finding it hard to succeed in what you're good at. Sometimes that kind of thing can make a person feel badly about who they are and their skills. To watch other people do things you only wish you were good at can hurt. A lot. But it's not a bad thing.

I believe every person has something they're good at. It could be that you're good with hair or make up. So what if you're best friend wants to be a scientist? Just because you're not cut out for that doesn't mean that you don't have every right to be successful at what you are good at. See, one thing about humans is that individual differences exist on grand scales and no two people are exactly the same. Even identical twins will have their different personalities. They're two different people, after all!

So you're not the best person at sport. So you can't draw. So you're not good at maths or science. What I'm trying to get at is that it doesn't matter. You are you, and it doesn't matter how academic or professional your talent it. It's yours. You have a right to build on it and become something amazing. You are not the same as the model you see on the front of a magazine. You are not this strong, built up body builder who's advertising weights or a work out scheme. You are YOU. You're unique. You're beautiful, and you're just you.

Being you is quite honestly the most amazing achievement you can every achieve.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." 

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

10% continue into their adult lives. You can be helped.

Did you know that one in twelve people self harm during their teenage years?


Doesn't seem like a lot does it? It is.

Think of it this way. You know twelve people, don't you? Imagine that. Based on these figures from the BBC in 2011, there's a high chance you know someone who is, or has been, the victim of self harm at some point in their lives. That's something you may not have thought about, or ever considered at all, but the numbers are worrying. It's unfortunate, but so many young people are going through things that people don't take the time to learn about. That's not your fault. So many people who do experience self harm don't tell people.

It's not a way of attention seeking.

I'm not here to bombard you with facts and figures about self harm. Of course I want people to understand more of it and learn about it. I don't want it to be a subject which people avoid and don't talk about. I certainly don't want it to be something which people judge about, and I even more certainly don't want those experiencing it to feel like they can't talk to people.

See, self harm is not a good path to go down. Many people don't understand just how much a person may be suffering. At the end of the day, however, self harming won't make it better. Sometimes it helps in the moment. It may release the emotion you've been holding in for so long, or it may give you something else to focus your mind on. It may take away the emotional pain because physical pain is easier to deal with. But it's not the better way to deal with it. There are far many more ways which are so much healthier for you, or your friend, or neighbor or family member, or anyone who is going through self harm, to get your emotions out. Self harm only leads you down routes you really don't want to find yourself on.

Take for example writing. Not everyone likes to do this but it can be an extremely effective way of expressing emotions which are hard to express verbally. You may not be very good at writing, whether it be poetry, stories, or even a diary, but it's YOUR place to vent. Don't worry about how good it sounds or now neat it looks. Scribble if you need to. Write words that make no sense. It doesn't matter. Be you. Isn't it better to scribble down some rubbish rather than hurt yourself? I'd say so.

Similarly, why not draw a picture? It doesn't have to be of anything you're feeling; it could be of anything. If you like to draw, or even just doodle, use this to take your mind away from the way you feel. It can help you escape reality and enter the world if innovation and creativity, and that's far better than putting yourself in even more pain than you're already in.

I won't go into detail about what else you can do. It's your mechanism for coping, and it doesn't matter what it is just as long as it's safe. However, self injury is something serious. You may not think so, but it is. If this is something you're going through, talk to someone. Tell a family member, or tell a friend. Tell a professional. Get yourself some support. Don't let yourself be alone. Feeling lonely can be one of the worst things to subject yourself too when pain is already an issue. And anyway, you're not alone! Remember that so many people have been where you are now, or you were once. It's nothing that can't be helped. You can get through anything if you put your mind to it. A little bit of extra support isn't going to hurt, is it?

One in twelve. It's scary. But it shows you're not on your own. You don't deserve to be hurting. You are one beautiful and strong individual, and I know that you can make it through this. I don't know you, but I have faith in people, and you are just wonderful. Keep your chin up. You'll never be alone and you'll always have support, you just need to find it.

Forgotten what to do to fit the mold?

This is a little bit on the old side, and yet I still have this undying love for it. Not only is Jessie J a major talent in my eyes, but the meaning behind this song she's written is beautiful and something I think deserves to be shared with the world. Chances are, you've heard this. When I did, it touched me. It tells you just how wonderful you are as you, and so many people fail to see that in themselves. It saddens me that in today's society people are influenced so much by the way they feel they have to act, look, behave and live their lives.

So many young people are subject to this way of living their lives. Take for example eating disorders. Now I'm not someone who has a personal experience of disorders such as anorexia or bulimia, but what I do know is that many people suffer from disorders such as these due to the way we are made to feel insecure about our bodies. On a serious level, these things happen. Maybe not as awful as that, but self-esteem issues aren't at all uncommon either. Why? Because so many young people, and probably older people, are forced to believe that the way they need to look is 'perfect'.

This song may not necessarily be directed at things such as eating disorders. However, the message is there and it remains there despite what problems you're facing. What it's trying to say is that it really doesn't matter what mold there is that's been set up for you. They don't matter. What matters is that you are comfortable with who you are. Why shouldn't you be? Who cares what other people want you to look like, or act like, or be like. Take it from me, this idea of  'perfection' doesn't exist. You could try your entire life to be perfect, but chances are you would never please everyone.

See, that's the thing with humans. We're all different. We all have different ideas and opinions and that's what makes us amazing. You can build up this amazing, and yet unrealistic persona in your mind and expect yourself to one day be everyone's idea of perfect, but the truth is you will never be perfect to everyone. I will have a completely different idea of what I like than you do. And that's okay. You are who you are. I am who I am. It's how humans are. We're different, and that's okay. You will always meet someone who is better than you at what you're good at. You'll always meet someone who doesn't agree with what you believe. You will always meet someone who you'll clash with. You can't create yourself a whole new identity just to please everyone. It's unrealistic and it wont happen.

You're you. It's okay to be you. To be honest, I think just being you is simply wonderful. Listen to this song again. Listen carefully. Think about how it relates to you. Someone out there thinks you're beautiful, and you deserve to feel you are too.

Escape your concrete mask!

I've been pondering about what there is to blog about for some time now. Luckily I had the support of someone close to me to give me a hand and now I have this wonderful place to unload some smiles. At least I hope anyway. See, I like it when I get to make people smile. I'd live my entire life making others smile in some way, and I like to think that's partially what I do. I spend an awful lot of time trying to help in any way I can. Sometimes I'm bad at it, but nobody is good at everything. However sometimes I'm good at what I do. I'd like to think that a lot of the time I am.

By no means am I the most confident, well rounded person you'll ever see blogging here, but I like to do my bit, you know? I have beliefs, opinions, a mind full of things that need to be said somehow. Chances are very few people will even see this, but if even one person can read what I have to say, and somehow find it in themselves to crack the concrete frown they've been burdened with, my job will be done.

See, smiles are contagious. So is laughing. So I promise to do my part if you promise to do yours. Wear a smile and let other people see it. Let other people take it. Sometimes they need it just as much as you do. It would be selfish to not share the beauty you have in you with your friends, or even a complete stranger. It doesn't matter if you know the person, just smile at them or something. Not only might it brighten up their day, but you might see why I feel cheering people up can be one of the best ways to cheer yourself up.